I finally get it (again).
This morning, I read a post from @Heather_Cole1 on her blog about Strength in Submission.
Later today, I posted a pic of my boobs showing some bite marks. The biter had asked for a pic, so I took one and then posted as instructed.
Somewhere, in the depths of my sleep-deprived and sickly brain, a few little thoughts clicked together, and suddenly, it all came flooding back to me.
I think I used to know it, but it slipped away in the midst of all of this other life shit. It had become a source of contention between me and a woman dear to me. I understood intellectually and mentally, but not really emotionally, and it didn’t really make sense.
Well, I finally remember.
Spider bite on left, teeth marks on right. Excellent work, both of them!
I really just wanted to post something new here so I wouldn’t keep seeing all those “dead” kittens from my last post.
How can we be sure these aren’t just a lot of dead cats?
Cats sleeping in odd places
(Source: kylesfuckingtumblr)
It’s SCIENCE, but NOT.
I browse the free books for Kindle on Amazon just about everyday. I was excited to see a book called The Mysterious Epigenome, as science books are often pretty pricey. I read through the synopsis of the book, thinking it pretty basic, but still useful for my library, until I got to the very last line:
In this creative and inventive book, authors Thomas E. Woodward and James P. Gills take readers on an exploration of the human epigenome. Acting as tour guides leading visitors through a 3-D model of a human cell, Woodward and Gills bring to life the human molecular makeup. Readers (as visitors) will get up close and personal with the minute details of human molecular structure, including E. coli, flagellum, a DNA helix, an RNA molecule, and more. By seeing it with their own eyes, readers will gain a better understanding of their genetic systems and a better appreciation for the Creator who put this all into place.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? THIS IS NOT A SCIENCE BOOK.
I’m still going to read the fucker. What a bunch of bullshit.
I LOVE MAPS.
I LOVE MAPS THAT SHOW ME WHERE TO FIND BEER.
My parents took me to innumerable breweries and wineries for tours when I was a kid. I never appreciated the good things when I had them…
popchartlab:
With 1,000 breweries mapped over 7 square feet, your summer road trip just planned itself.
Get The Breweries of the United States for 20% off now through 5/30 at noon EDT.
“I loved the country so that I was happy as you are after you have been with a woman that you really love, when, empty, you feel it welling up again and there it is and you can never have it all and yet what there is, now, you can have, and you want more and more, to have, and be, and live in, to possess now again for always, for that long, sudden-ended always; making time stand still, sometimes so very still that afterwards you wait to hear it move, and it is slow in starting. But you are not alone, because if you have ever really loved her happy and untragic, she loves you always; no matter whom she loves nor where she goes she loves you more. So if you have loved some woman and some country you are very fortunate and, if you die afterwards it makes no difference.”
Ernest Hemingway, Green Hills of Africa
Forgive the crappy pic, but I had to sneak a shot while helping a friend pack to move. It’s a beaver spreader!
I hear it also works for spreading butter on bread, too.
A sad little monster.
I’d fully intended to come home with some delicious Thai takeout and gorge myself while looking at pictures and videos of myself doing nasty things to lovely ladies. Instead, I checked my personal email and found myself weeping cathartic tears into my Pad Thai.
A dear friend emailed me a few days back asking for some perspective on emotional turmoil and interpersonal relationships. I emailed back with my thoughts, and felt compelled to explain a similar struggle I’ve been facing. I poured out a sad, insecure truth about myself, one that I didn’t know really affected me that much. I keep this little monster locked off in a tiny room in my mind. The room is dark so I don’t even have to look at it. In introducing my friend to this monster, I got to know the little bastard a little better.
Surprisingly, I’m not quite ready to share that sad truth with the masses yet. I’ve refrained from posting things before, and even taken a post down, out of respect for other people. This is the first time I’ve chosen to keep something to myself, as I feel I need a bit more time to sort it out.
What’s the point? Well, I’m learning boundaries, I suppose. I’m trying to be purposeful and thoughtful rather than flippant, and test the waters instead of diving in headfirst. I’d also like to thank my dear friend, @xeyednpainless, for helping me through one of the most enlightening interactions I can remember. I’m very grateful to count him as a close friend, and thankful he knew just what to tell me to feel a little of the security I’ve been missing.
The Pad Thai was delicious, by the way, and it really has been a fantastic fucking weekend so far.
I can forgive you if you’re an asshole because I see your pain underneath it all.
I can forgive you if you don’t see my pain because your sight is so limited.
I may not forgive you if you refuse to open your eyes when I present you lenses so you can see more clearly.
